I Have Everything. Why Do I Still Feel Empty?

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I have a good home, a loving family, and friends around me.  Yet sometimes life feels flat and empty. 

Why?

It's loneliness.  I can be in a crowded room and still feel invisible.  Being alone is a choice – like enjoying a quiet cup of tea or a casual walk.  But loneliness is different.  It's that ache of feeling alone even with people around.

Is it my fault? 

No.  Loneliness often comes from inside, fed by high expectations and never-ending goals.  The good news?  If it grew inside you, you can change it too.

How do I start?

Try gentle detachment.  Enjoy your relationships without demands.  Remember, no partner or friend can fix everything.  They're human, just like you.

What changes?

Begin to see loneliness as a passing phase, not a dead end.  It's a quiet signal to reassess your connections, and rediscover yourself. 

With hope, there's always something to do, someone to care for, and dreams to chase.  One day, your house will be a home again. 

If this resonates with you, share one small step you'll take to feel truly alive.

Relationship Fatigue: When Togetherness Feels Heavy

This is a reflection on my earlier piece:
"Blockbuster Wedding or Busted Marriage?"

"Familiarity breeds contempt!" But is that truly the root cause of divorces? In reality, most cracks in relationships stem from deep emotional fatigue.

I recall a couple who separated after 33 years. Surprised, I asked why. They both gave similar answers: "We realized, maybe a bit late, that we needed our own space, time, and freedom. Why keep hurting each other in silence?" Their voices carried weariness, not anger.

An architect friend once surprised me when I asked what he'd prioritize while designing a house for my wife and me. "The bathroom!" Seeing my confusion, he explained: "A quiet, well-ventilated space where your wife can be alone. Even in the deepest love, constant closeness can sometimes feel suffocating."

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Why Does It Happen?
Relationship fatigue isn't about falling out of love. It's about feeling emotionally drained. Like a joint bank account, it gets depleted little by little, unnoticed, until the balance hits zero.

How Do You Spot It?

• Do you take each other for granted now?
• Do small irritations linger unresolved?
• Does one of you carry most of the invisible load?
• Has warmth shifted to impatience, or worse, indifference?
• Do conversations feel heavier than they used to?
• Do you still care deeply, yet feel strangely distant?
• Do you crave alone time, not to escape, but just to breathe?

If you're nodding yes to several of these, it may not be conflict you're facing, but exhaustion. Many couples who eventually separate aren't angry at all. They are simply tired. Deeply tired.

How to Overcome It
Acknowledge the exhaustion: mental, emotional, and physical. Communicate needs gently, without blame. Share visible and invisible responsibilities. Break old routines before they break you, and intentionally create personal space.

Relationship fatigue is like a slow leak. Ignore it, and intimacy drains away unnoticed. While it shows up mostly in marriages, any long-term partnership too can face this exhaustion.

If this resonates, have a quiet check-in with your partner. Set aside ego. Make gentle adjustments. Respect each other's preferences and priorities.

This is not weakness. It's a mature act of love and strength.

Share your thoughts below.

Laughter: Fake It Till You Make It

Just before my first meeting with the company chairman, his secretary leaned in and whispered, "A word of advice. If he smiles, you are in trouble."

Fifteen minutes later, I walked out.  The secretary looked at me with a question in her eyes.  I said, “No. He didn’t smile. But why that warning?”  

She explained, ““His smile is proportional to the nonsense you speak, and rarely ends well.”  I nodded, realizing a strange truth: not every smile is friendly.  

Around the same time, I saw something very different.  During my morning walk, a group of people in the park were standing in a circle, laughing loudly, waving their arms and shaking their bodies.  It looked funny at first.  Then someone invited me to join their "laughter club."

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It was a delightful counterpoint.  If you can’t laugh for real, fake it till you make it.  'Pretend laughter', many say, can loosen the tight knots inside you.  It’s like stretching before a run or warming up for genuine joy.  

Why do we laugh?  It’s one of our most human magic tricks.  Laughter releases stress like steam from a pressure cooker.  We laugh at surprises, silly jokes, clumsy falls, or even a typo that changes the whole meaning.  Most of all, we laugh to connect.  A shared laughter is like a warm handshake of the heart.  

There are many kinds: belly-shaking ones, nervous giggles, even those polite "office laughs" that sound like coughs in disguise.  And while we try to control it, a truly funny moment will always escape, like a balloon slipping from your hand.

The benefits are remarkable.  Laughter reduces worry, strengthens our immune system, and gives the heart a fun workout.  But its best gift is bringing people together.

So next time joy feels far away, start with the sound.  Fake it, force it, let it wobble out.  You might just trick yourself into the real thing.

After all, laughter - genuine or borrowed - is life's cheapest, happiest medicine.

Share your thoughts below.

Blockbuster Wedding or Busted Marriage?

A friend recently shared the details of his daughter’s upcoming wedding.  I was taken aback by the budget.  Three days filled with lavish feasts, choreographed dances, drone photography, designer outfits, and jewelry that could fund a middle-class family's dreams.  It felt less like a wedding and more like a movie premiere on steroids.

Weddings, once quiet and sacred, have transformed into extravagant competitions.  Some resemble five-day Test matches, while elite celebrations unfold in palaces, yachts, or private islands, often featuring celebrities paid to perform.  Meanwhile, regular guests line up to bless the couple, and to squeeze themselves in a two-second clip that no one watches again.

Much of this madness stems from a toxic question: “What will others think?”  Families break fixed deposits and mortgage their peace of mind to avoid appearing small.  In today’s world, hosting a simple wedding requires more courage than throwing an extravagant one.

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Here’s the cruel irony: the bigger the spectacle, the quicker some marriages collapse.  Once the lights dim, real life begins without event managers or choreographers.  There are no retakes. Communication falters, patience thins, and expectations inflate.  Many couples start their journey not with shared dreams but with shared EMIs.

A quiet shift is also occurring.  More women are choosing dignity over silent endurance, walking away from unhappy marriages.  Some delay or skip the institution entirely, fearing it may cost them their space and peace.  This isn’t rebellion; it’s self-respect.  Brave

We often forget that strong relationships rest on three quiet, priceless pillars: Love, Trust, and Respect.  Lose one, and the entire structure trembles.

So, when the next shimmering invite arrives, enjoy the food, smile for the photos, and wish the couple something no gift can deliver - a future that outlasts the last dance.

What’s your take? Big fat wedding or none at all? 

Share your thoughts below.

Lifelong Learning: The Socrates Way

People measure intelligence by the questions we ask.  Yet questions often make people squirm.  Think of those speakers who say, "Hold your questions until the end."   Sorry, they need to know, curiosity doesn't work on a timetable.  It pops up right in the middle of the talk!  Holding it back often robs the question of its spark.

Enter Socrates, the barefoot granddad of Athens who turned "I don't know" into a superpower.  His famous line, "I know that I know nothing", wasn't giving up.  It was the starting point for real learning.  He believed the moment you think you're an expert, you stop growing. 

Socrates's method was simple.  Keep asking "why?" like a stubborn five-year-old.  He never lectured; he peeled assumptions layer by layer with gentle questions until people realized their own beliefs couldn't stand up to scrutiny.  Some got so irritated, they made him drink poison.

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Yet his point still shines today.  In school, we treat learning like a race.  Finish the syllabus, take the exams, collect the certificate, done.  Socrates says, "The race never ends."  Doctors, engineers, and other professionals who qualified years ago stop learning and slowly fall behind.  Expertise isn't a trophy on a shelf that gathers dust, but a river that must keep flowing.

Today in the age of Google and AI, answers are cheaper than street food.  What's rare is good questions.  Socrates would probably smile and whisper, "Slow down.  Ask better questions.  Don't just swallow facts.  Chew them."  That's how passive learning turns into an exploration.

So how do we honour him?  Not by quoting him, but practising his art.  Don't accept ideas at face value.  Question gently.  Prod kindly. Challenge ideas, not people.  Winning awareness matters more than winning arguments.

In this context, here's a small challenge for you:  Take one belief you’re totally sure about.  Ask “why?” and “how?” until you reach its roots.  You'll be amazed what hides behind your certainty.

Keep questioning.  The Socrates way. 

That's "Life Long Learning"😊

From Stage Fright to Strength

I still remember my first big moment on stage.  Seventh grade; a poem recitation.  My palms were sweaty, head strangely light, and every line I'd memorized had vanished into thin air.  That was my dramatic introduction to stage fright - that shaky, stomach-churning feeling most us call nervousness.  Later, I learned, almost everyone goes through it.

Why Does It Happen?

Nervousness is your body's built-in alarm system.  It gets triggered whenever you enter a new or important situation.  Your mind starts whispering, "This matters, stay sharp."  The trouble is, the alarm can’t differentiate between a school presentation and a real threat.  So it reacts to both with equal intensity.

A Different Way to See It

Physiologically, nervousness and excitement are nearly identical.  The only difference is the label you slap on it.  Tell yourself “I’m excited” instead of “I’m scared,” and feel it flipping from being an enemy to ally.  Sounds simple, but it works because your body believes what your mind repeats.

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Ways to Stay Calm

Try these simple practical moves:

- Take slow, deep breaths.  Let your body relax.

- Prepare well in advance.  That boosts confidence.

- Focus on your message, not on yourself.

- Spot friendly faces in the audience.  Speak to them.

Here’s the part nobody tells you - nerves almost always peak right before you start.  Wait for a minute or two.  The storm settles, and you slide into your rhythm.  When it’s over, comes the sweet mix of relief and pride. 

Nervousness is simply a warm-up.  Not a sign that you're falling apart, but proof that you're gearing up to shine.

So,share in the comments.  What was your worst on-stage moment, and how you managed it?  Someone out there might draw strength from your experience. 

The Little Lies We All Tell...

Ever told a lie, and felt that little flutter inside?  Don't worry.  You're in good company.  Almost everyone on this planet has done it at least once.  Lying is as old as language itself: Habitual, impulsive, convenient, or just reluctant.

Remember school days?  You went to a wedding, but told the teacher, "Ma'am, I had fever."  The plot doesn't change much.  Years later, while sharing beer with friends, you get a call from your spouse.  Without hesitation you say: "stuck in a meeting!"

I once had a colleague who rushed in late for a major presentation.  His excuse?  "My car's carburetor broke. Had to call a mechanic."  Only one issue.  His car was diesel.  Diesel engines don't have carburetors.  We tried hard not to laugh.  

Lesson: if you're going to lie, at least Google it first!

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Most times, we lie to escape embarrassment or avoid trouble.  But are all lies harmful?  No.  Consider the "white lie" you tell a friend, "You look great in that shirt".   Just a gentle "feel good" nudge.  These are featherweights compared to what we tell ourselves: "We're not ready for that task; we'll do it tomorrow."  These ones dress up as caution, common sense, or self-compassion, making them harder to detect.

So where does this leave us?  History celebrates figures known for their unwavering honesty - people who built their entire reputations on never telling a lie, not even once.  Respect!  Yet in real life, being 100% truthful every single second, is hard.  Still, trying to be more honest each day, does make us better human beings.

And here's a playful question to end with: 

Who do you think lies most - politicians when they make promises, or us when we say "I'm five minutes away" while still in pajamas? 😄

Let's promise to catch our little lies and smile at them.  

Small steps towards big truth!

The Vanishing Melody, Broken Harmony

As a schoolkid, I often accompanied my family to temple festivals.  Evenings were dedicated to singers performing popular film songs.  The challenge before my family elders was to identify the raaga, each tune was based on.  Unlike many of today's keyboard composers, the music directors of that era were masters of improvisation, weaving unique melodies from classical roots.  Recognizing those ragas was our delightful puzzle.

We always sat far from the loudspeaker horns tied high in the trees.  We knew it was the melody, not the noise, that truly brought joy to our ears and souls.

Today, the soundscape has changed.  Volume is king.  Heavy beats overwhelm the tune.  In just a couple of decades, cacophony has taken over.  And this transformation in music reflects something deeper, a wider cultural shift away from subtlety toward excess.

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Classical dance forms, which demand years of discipline, now struggle for attention against cinematic freestyle moves that require none.  Tennis, once admired as a graceful game of "touch," is now dominated by raw power.  Even marriage ceremonies, once brief and solemn, have ballooned into multi-day, high-decibel spectacles.

Our festivals too tell the same story.  Rituals once performed with reverence are now executed with an aggression that pollutes rivers and even causes stampedes.  What was meant to unite us has become a mindless contest of loudness, as if devotion is measured in decibels.

But real joy is never loud.  Happiness resonates in a different register.  It rests in silence that offers peace, in calm that renews hope.  The maestros understood this.  Their music had a soul because it breathed.  The space between notes mattered as much as the notes themselves.

And so in a quiet corner at home, headphones on, away from noisy get-togethers and restless crowds, I sit wondering: 

The most powerful note is often the one you barely hear.

What do you think? Share your thoughts. 

Build Bridges, Not Battlefields: Why Do We Argue?

We’ve all seen it.  A friendly chat turning into a heated argument.  Voices rise, tempers flare, and the goal quietly shifts from sharing ideas to proving who’s “right.”  Nobody really wins, except maybe the popcorn guy watching from the sidelines!

So why do we argue?:

Most of the time, we want to be heard, respected or taken seriously.  That quick burst of “victory” feels good for a moment, until we realise we’ve scorched a perfectly good relationship, and gained nothing but hurt feelings.

The better way:

Shift from a fighting mood to a learning mindset.  Next time when the temperature rises, pause.  Take a beath.  Ask yourself: "Do I want to be right, or do I want to stay connected?" 

Tone makes all the difference.  Soften it.  Choose gentler words.  Move from “I think you're wrong…” to “Tell me what you think…?”  Listen as if there’s a test later.  And a little warm, self-deprecating humour can work wonders; just keep it kind, not sarcastic.  Remember, understanding someone isn't surrender; it's opening a door.

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An Age-Old Truth

Over two thousand years ago, Akṣapāda Gautama founded the Nyāya (Logic) school of philosophy and composed the Nyāya Sūtras, its foundational treatise.  Centuries later, Annam Bhaṭṭa distilled these ideas in his classic Tarka‑saṅgraha, writing:

“True debate is a joint search for truth, not a battle to defeat the other person.”

Modern psychology repackaged this insight in fancier words.  Some popular titles worth exploring:

* Games People Play – Eric Berne

* I’m OK, You’re OK – Thomas Harris

* How to Get What You Want Without Having to Argue – Claude Steiner

Last word:

Nobody ever changed their mind because someone yelled louder.  And nobody ends life celebrating an argument they won about pizza toppings!

Choose the bridge. Choose curiosity. The world already has enough battles.

LUCK: The Whisper We Keep Chasing

We've all felt it - that invisible force we call luck.  

• Easy questions in an exam? - Lucky break.  
• Fail anyway? - Bad luck.  
• A sudden accident? - Unlucky.  
• Walk away with just a scratch? - Miraculous luck.

Luck is the name we give to random, unexplained events.  It tilts the scales, sometimes in our favor, sometimes against.  We notice it most in moments that don't make sense. 

Why are we obsessed with luck?  

Because luck gives hope without rules.  You don’t need talent, money, or lineage.  Just the right moment.  When efforts fail, luck keeps our dreams alive.  More than believe in it, we bargain with it.  We wear gemstones that “activate prosperity,” tie sacred threads, hang yantras on our walls.  We pay experts to “fix” our luck, redesign homes to appease Vastu, cancel meetings because the time isn’t auspicious.  A black cat crosses the road and we brake.  A hotel room ends in 13 and we flinch.  

Luck is full-time business.

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Do these charms work?  

Nobody knows.  What we do know is that they offer comfort when life feels unpredictable.  They soothe the mind.  They help us believe life is negotiable, though no ring or ritual can replace genuine desire or hard work.

Can we change our luck?  

We can’t control chance, but we can control how often chance finds us.  Psychologist Richard Wiseman studied chronically “lucky” people and found something surprising.  They aren’t magical. They’re simply more open, more curious, more observant, and quicker to bounce back when things go wrong. 

Luck vs. Fortune

Think of luck as a quick, random spark—a lottery win. 

Fortune is the lasting fire—the legacy you build over time.

Luck is like WiFi: invisible, always around, noticed only when you’re connected.

So what’s the luckiest moment of your life?  Share it.  Someone else might find hope in your story.

A Bow, A Smile, and A Lesson in Civic Sense

Thirty years ago at Osaka's Marubiru subway station, my friend tossed a cigarette pack onto the spotless platform.  A Japanese guy picked it up, and dropped it in the bin.  No anger, no lecture.  Just a bow, and smile.  Dignity in action.  That moment changed how I see the world.

Civic sense isn't just following rules.  It's about creating an environment where everyone feels valued and respected.  Without it, we will see litter on streets, spitting in public, shouting in quiet zones, jumping queues.  These aren't just annoyances.  They're symptoms of a mindset that erodes the quality of life for everyone.

Think of civic sense as your seventh sense.   It guides how you use your other six:  Sight, Sound, Smell, Touch, Taste, and Intuition.  It whispers: “We’re in this together.”  The simple idea that our convenience should not become someone else's inconvenience. 

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A sharp civic sense means:

* Seeing litter and picking it up, even when it's not yours

* Hearing the need for silence and choosing to preserve it

* Smelling the stench of neglect in public spaces and taking action

* Touching public property with the same care as your own

* Tasting the quiet joy of order and respect 

* Feeling the impact of our actions, even when no one’s watching. 

Why is it fading? 

Apathy.  Weak enforcement.  Cultural blind spots.  The “me-first” mindset.  The tragedy of the commons: “It’s not my problem, so why care?” 

How do we build it back? 

* Lead by example. Action is more persuasive than preaching.

* Try the 10-second rule: if a good deed takes 10 seconds, do it

* Be kind. Even digital spaces are shared spaces

Civic sense isn't a burden or sacrifice.  It's a superpower that makes daily life cleaner, kinder, and more joyful - not just for others, but for you too.

Start small.  Choose "we" over "me." 

Watch the ripple of positivity it creates.

Why No One Remembers You

“Doctors bury their mistakes, judges hang them, 

and journalists print theirs on the front page.”

This saying highlights the consequences of attention deficit that is plaguing our society.  It also underscores a deeper issue: In conversations, meetings, and even at home, we're physically present but mentally elsewhere.  We've mastered the art of being in two places at once – here, but not really here.

This lapse in focus can lead to severe outcomes.  A doctor overlooks a symptom, and tragedy follows.  A driver checks his phone, and disaster strikes.  A customer service rep recites scripts without truly comprehending the issue.  The uncomfortable truth is:  they all think they're paying attention, but they aren't.

Our world is designed to distract us.  Infinite scrolls, notifications every 40 seconds, and constant context-switching.  This must be actively corrected, if we want to reclaim our focus.

The irony is that in trying to do more, we often end up doing less.  Multitasking, speed-reading, and optimizing are habits that sabotage depth for the illusion of speed.  We fail to realize that slowing down is sometimes the fastest way forward.

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The antidote to this problem is active, disciplined attention:

• Don’t just read – comprehend.

• Don’t just hear – listen.

• Don’t just see – observe.

Consider the snake, which detects the faintest vibration and strikes with precision, ignoring all else.  That's focus.  Train your mind to filter out the noise and lock onto what matters.

In the workplace, this ability to focus ensures a competitive edge.  The person who truly listens gets remembered and promoted.  At home, it deepens connections.  Make your partner feel seen, not skimmed over.  In a world drowning in distraction, focus itself becomes a superpower.

Your challenge:

In your next conversation, give your full focus.  Choose attention over distraction.  Put your phone face-down, look up, and pause before responding.  Notice how things shift.

The cost of a wandering mind is far too high.  By making a conscious effort to focus, you can reclaim your attention, deepen your connections, and achieve more by doing less.

Don’t Take the Bait

How many times have you paused scrolling on your favorite social media feed, tempted by a post that promises the world?  “Invest ₹50,000 and earn ₹10,000 every month!” or “100% herbal cure for diabetes!” or “Brand-new AC for just ₹1,500!” or “Install this app and watch all the latest movies for free!”

They look irresistible, but behind those shiny promises lurk digital traps waiting to steal your money or personal data.  And when we share them without checking, we help those scams travel further and faster.

These posts feed on two of our biggest weaknesses: greed and gullibility.  Each click fuels a scammer’s earnings, or worse, exposes our email, bank, or identity details to criminals.

The golden rule? If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.  Pause before you click.

Run a quick scan.

Does the post feel genuine?  Is there fake urgency like “Offer ends in 24 hours”?  Are there spelling errors, awkward phrasing, or too many CAPITAL LETTERS screaming at you?

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Now, ask yourself:

If making money were that simple, would anyone share it online instead of quietly cashing in?  If a miracle herb could cure chronic illness, wouldn’t hospitals be prescribing it?  If a big company were giving away expensive products, how would it stay in business?

Still hearing that whisper: “But what if it’s true?”  That’s the bait working.  Shut it down with one question: Where’s the proof?

A few seconds of doubt can save you from weeks of regret.  Use common sense, verify before trusting, and never share personal or financial details with unknown sources.

Next time you see an unbelievable offer, take 30 seconds to verify it. Your caution protects not just you—but everyone in your digital circle.