It Is A Lollapalooza!

A Vastu enabled car! Engine in the South-east, Steering in the North-east, Fuel tank in the West, Boot in the South...! Now, don't smirk, for you'd only reveal your ignorance!

Vastu sastra was once the basis of temple architecture in South India. It actualised synergy between the Ashtadik (8 directions) and the Panchabhoota (5 Elements) ensuring peace, prosperity and happiness. However, like any other traditional science, Vastu sastra too fell prey to commercial exploitation. Today, it is touted as panacea for all kinds of ills. The 'remedies on sale' include structural alterations, internal rearrangements, and charging the environment with 'Yantras'.

When there is so much well-being on offer, what is wrong in reconfiguring a traditional vehicle to achieve Vastu compatibility? If you still think it isn't feasible, here are some easy alternatives:

For example, avoid driving South first thing in the morning, to save yourself from accidents. Roll down car windows in the North-west to please the wind god. Balance the space element by clearing the clutter inside. A few camphor crystals will neutralise stagnant energy. And fortify with a charged 'Yantra' on the dashboard. Your vehicle is now holistically safe!

'Crap,' you might say, but Vastu experts, keen on newer opportunities would contend: If a global car manufacturer could embrace Vastu, why not you?

The reference is to media reports about a Japanese company using Vastu Sastra to resolve labour unrest in its manufacturing facility in India. The news took the corporate world by surprise. After watching Japan's incredible revival from a World War inflicted devastation, the global managers have been chanting: genchi genbutsu (Get your hands dirty), ringiseido (Collective decision making), Kanebo (Service to society), Takeda (Service to the nation), Kyocera (Respect for others)...

Perhaps, this mantra failed to address the new found theory that the factory was built on what was once a burial ground and the emanating negative vibrations were causing the violence. Running out of options, the management in a desperate attempt to establish peace and harmony, reportedly summoned a Vastu specialist to sanctify the environment through rituals.

When Vastu could drive into a car manufacturing plant, why do you doubt its ability to take you for a ride?

"I am a paranoiac in reverse;

I suspect people of plotting to make me happy!"

- J D Salinger

When There Is Nothing Better To Do...

When there is nothing to do, how do you keep yourself occupied? Day dreaming, nose picking, farting, fornicating...? Or do you think of any other 'selfless deed'? Well, if you are in India, there is no dearth of ideas that can keep you 'eternally' engaged!

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During school days when once a teacher failed to turn up and there was no one else to substitute, my bench mate pointed out to his dad's signature on the report card, and said: 'Why don't we make one for us too?' We began to 'design' our signatures. After a variety of curves, slants, strokes and flourishes, we lost interest. My friend then said: 'Hey, why don't we try it out in Hindi?' We had nothing else to do!

The HR Wing (South) of the Life Insurance Corporation of India too hit upon such an infantile idea recently. On the intranet appeared a circular, directing its employees to start signing in Hindi. The 'out of the blue' move was purportedly to accelerate use of Hindi in South India! The circular however had to be summarily withdrawn following protests.

The LIC for reasons incomprehensible, had overlooked a Reserve Bank of India directive on the subject.  While ruling that official documents/correspondence could be signed in any language as the signature was merely a symbol, the Master Circular RBI/2009-10/95 had stated that the signature should be in one script only to obviate chances of confusion or fraud.

Although a signature is generally expected to consist one's name (first, middle or last) or nickname, there is a legal provision permitting a personalized mark or symbol, or even thumb impression instead. The only condition is, whatever be the script, style or form, the signature must be unique.

The rules are thus clear. Common sense makes it even more clear. Still, with nothing better to do, we indulge in wild fantasies. What if we extend the 3 language formula to personal signatures? Each of us will then have a national, regional and vernacular signature! We will also merrily contribute to the spiralling chaos and confusion!

With nothing better to do, what else can we think of?

"Doing nothing is better 

than being busy doing nothing!"

-  Lao Tzu